Smelling us: They've got to be the most busted cheaters in the history of getting frisky with someone else's spouse.
You can't watch a newscast without seeing photos of this amorous pair. Congressional hearings are being held about their emails. Congressman Trey Gowdy is blowing his stack over their obvious bias. Even the special prosecutor fired them when their emails to each other made headlines.
Imagine having your illicit affair exposed to millions of Americans. And imagine trying to explain it to your spouse. (You'd probably have to just turn the TV off when the news came on.)
Ouch. Stick a fork in it, pal. Game over.
What we're seeing here – in the revelations about those two FBI employees and their contempt for the guy who eventually won the presidential election – is the moon landing of marital infidelity. Exposure that no cheating relationship has ever experienced before. A field day for infidelity jokes. How does one recover from indecent exposure like this?
You could almost feel sorry for agent Peter Strzok and FBI attorney Lisa Page if they weren't members of the Deep State, the status quo in government, willing to do whatever their jobs enabled them to do to subvert the will of the voters. The voters who Strzok said he could “smell at Walmart.”
You know. Us.
She implored him to say Trump couldn't possibly win. He emailed back that they needed an “insurance policy” to ensure Trump could not win, and said they would do what was necessary to keep it from happening. This from the guy who was a key member of the FBI teams investigating both presidential candidates prior to the election, going easy on Hillary and apparently not going easy at all on Trump.
Those of us who the lovebirds could smell at Walmart probably don't feel much sympathy for these two, as their affair continues to be mentioned near the top of every news story. Their contempt for people who elected a president couldn't be clearer. So, turnabout is fair play.
The ridicule they're experiencing now, well, it couldn't happen to a nicer couple.
The only folks I feel sorry for are their spouses.
Different deals: My wife, The Wife, worked briefly for the Veterans Administration hospital in our town several years ago.
The people she worked with were great, but the system, and the red tape, and the computers drove them batty. (Co-workers kept saying to her, “Please don't leave,” but she only lasted five months.) If you didn't type something on your computer for 90 seconds, it logged off and then you had to log back on. The workload was impossible – she was responsible for a couple thousand veterans. And the VA police wouldn't let her park where her boss told her to park. She figured it would take an act of Congress to get the VA police to let her park where her boss told her to park, so she dropped it. Some things aren't worth the fight.
The Wife is not a crier, but it got to the point that she was in tears on a regular basis when she got home from the VA at night. The place was full of great people trying to do the best for the veterans, but stuck in a horrible, frustrating bureaucracy.
The VA is apparently different from the FBI. The Wife didn't get to spend time talking politics on company time – in fact, employees were warned that it's against the law. And she was always way too busy doing her job to be emailing co-workers about whether or not they could smell Trump voters at Walmart.
Same government, way different deals.
And lastly: Am I the only one who is worried about all this emailing going on in Washington - Hillary Clinton's 30,000 missing emails, and the 20,000 emails the lovebirds were sending each other? There are other examples.
Who, I ask, emails this much?
Don't they have anything productive to do? Our government used to win world wars, put men on the moon, and built the interstate highway system.
Apparently now, many spend their time pecking away at cell phones.
Contact Dave Simpson at email@example.com.