In my nearly three years as editor of a newspaper in this town called Morton, I have never made the mistake I have weekly nightmares about.
If you work, or have worked, you’re probably familiar with these nightmares. And, they usually involve the most stressful portion of your job and the fear of getting it all wrong.
These nightmares consist of me waking up on a Wednesday morning and beginning my daily routine on the way to work.
You know how it goes — hair, ‘check;’ keys, ‘check;’ camera, ‘check;’ clothes, ‘check’ (if you’ve ever had the nightmare in which you show up to work in only your underwear).
It seems like a rather run-of-the-mill dream ... until I stop by the local gas station on my way into work. If I get the chance, I check to see if the newspaper is on the stand then I take a sneak peak at how it turned out.
The dream quickly turns into a nightmare, one in which I have no idea I am deep in sleep.
The top headline reads ... ‘Moron residents work together in fundraiser.’
I feel my heart drop, my stomach growls and suddenly my whole body feels numb.
Then, the nightmare ends — I awaken in a soaking sweat and my heart is beating five times a second.
I take several breaths and repeat to myself aloud ... “I am not the editor of the Moron Times-News.”
Believe it or not, that is a true nightmare.
If you count the number of times the word “Morton” shows up in the paper each week, it could reach into the hundreds. The chances of me, the sales representatives or the creative department missing that “t” in Morton are pretty high.
Imagine being the subject of a story with a headline that reads “Moron runner jogs three miles a day.”
Or, what if the police department gives me the exclusive on an arrest and I accidentally type this into the headline - “Moron police nab robber.”
That would probably be a good laugh for everyone but the officers who were involved.
I only write on this topic because, though I have not made the mistake, there is no guarantee it will not happen in the future, even with a thorough copy-editing process.
When you expect the word “Morton” to be in the paper, it is easy to overlook the possibility that it might be spelled wrong.
The readers will notice it right away. Before you know it, the headline is featured on a late night show, such as the one Jay Leno used to perform called “Headlines.”
While such a mistake would be worth the free exposure on national television, it would not be worth the effort to correct the mistake.
My biggest nightmare has never been experienced. But, I warn you, one day it could happen.
Though you may be laughing now, you won’t be laughing when you are the subject of a story titled “New business owner loves Moron.”
