Grace Potter may be blind as a bat, but she is a stone fox....and I would picture her as such whether I'd ever laid my own eyes(I have 20/20 vision, for the record...and thank you, VH1 Storytellers) on her or not. Hopefully our kids take after her. Grace, call me.

#90
H.G. WELLS BUILT MY TOYOTA

Grace Potter may be blind as a bat, but she is a stone fox....and I would picture her as such whether I'd ever laid my own eyes(I have 20/20 vision, for the record...and thank you, VH1 Storytellers) on her or not. Hopefully our kids take after her. Grace, call me.

Sorry, I've got her latest on in the background, and as much as I'd like to devote 100% of my concentration to knocking out this here blog, that voice is tough to treat like audio wallpaper. Hang on, let me switch it out for some Snow Patrol, and allow their innocuous compositions to wash over my eardrums like the perfectly-crafted pablum they are.(Confidentially, I like a lot of their stuff..but come on, it IS what it is.)

But I digress. We need to discuss this time travel phenomenon I stumbled upon over the weekend. Apparently my truck, a 2007 Toyota Sequoia's options package includes the "time machine" upgrade, because I saw things in an Applebee's in Salem, IL that were clearly not of this, or any other 21st century calendar year.

I don't want to be that also-unhip guy that makes fun of people only slightly less current in the fashion department than himself, but this woman's hairdo was truly a sight to behold. So magnificent was this gravity-defying coif, that my girlfriend went to great lengths to covertly capture some photographic evidence. Alas, she was foiled by both her own lack of stealth, and a giant carousel horse that separated our section from that which her subject had been seated in.

You see, perched on this individual's head was a near-perfect replica of Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" cut, and it was marvelous. We could scarcely take our eyes off of this specimen, and her associate, who sported a slightly tamer take on that throwback style. I dubbed it the "Broad Stewart", and admired it from afar, afraid to advance, and risk further broaching the space-time continuum either she or we had already disrupted with our presence.

Now, whether we stumbled through some trans-dimensional portal, or she was catapulted forward in time via some device inadvertently triggered in 1978, there was clearly something afoot in Salem, IL, an otherwise nondescript community. Were it not for the fact that the laws of physics were compromised  yet again only hours later, I would've chalked it up to a simple case of poor taste. Unfortunately, they were.

I'll explain....later.

D.

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